Have you ever stopped to consider how little people really know each other? I don’t mean casual acquaintances or even friends. I mean people who say they love and deeply care for each other; people who are willing to commit their lives to each other. Read More
In the last article I suggested that most people have only a limited awareness of their own experiences. Rather than utilizing our capacity to be aware of and learn from those experiences we are effectively blind to most of them, and don’t even know we are doing this. This article examines one of the implications of how this limited approach to our own experiences effects our lives. Read More
In my previous article I was arguing that we cannot truly make choices and therefore changes in our life, if we are not aware of, or conscious to, our own experiences. Since most people seem to think they are already quite aware, then either I am making a weak argument, or we are talking about very different things. This article focuses on my definition of this notion of our lack of awareness in an attempt to clarify that position and also to look at some of the implications which flow from it. Read More
The only reality we have is this living moment. The only possibility we ever have to make a different choice, to alter a course of action, or to change our mind, resides in “this” moment. Yes, we can plan on doing something tomorrow, but both that decision to wait and the action itself when it occurs will be choices made in present tense, “now” moments.
Oddly, it seems to me for most people the significance of “this” moment pales in comparison to how important we consider our past and future to be. This at least seems to be true given how much time we spend there. Indeed, “this” moment seems to have has little meaning, and little value. Read More
Over the course of twenty plus years I have worked with thousands of individuals, a good number who either report as being depressed, or anxious. The really odd thing is, that other than having somewhat similar symptoms, these people were so remarkably different from each other I wonder if we (those who label and treat others) might often be guilty of a fundamental perceptual error. Let me explain. Read More
“Alexithymia” is a term coined to describe patients who have so successfully buried their emotional problems that they no longer have any capacity for genuine insight. These patients present as being “emotionally illiterate” such that they have great difficulty in expressing or describing their feelings. Because their capacity to intellectualize and rationalize can be highly developed they often have very strong and rigid opinions about themselves and their life, making two-way communication about these very important issues very difficult and frustrating.
In the previous article (Understanding Narcissists (Part 1), I began to identify a problem exemplified by the “Myth of Narcissus”. This myth portrays a scenario where a beautiful young boy is mesmerized by his own image staring as longingly and lovingly back at him as he is at it. Because he does not recognize the reflection as his own, he repeatedly tries in vain to possess an image which he can never truly have. Read More
The first worldwide comparison of depression with four other non-fatal chronic diseases shows that feeling seriously blue is the most disabling of all, according to a recently study. Read More
Several years ago I was seeing a young woman in my practice who was struggling with depression following the recent death of her mother. In spite of how sad and distressed she looked, she seemed to be struggling to let herself cry.
When I commented that she seemed to be having difficulties accepting her feelings, she responded that this was not actually the problem for her. Rather, she was concerned that if she truly expressed what she was feeling, other people in the building would hear her and wonder if something was wrong, if perhaps she was being attacked. Read More
Have you ever felt frustrated at your inability to solve problems in your life? Do you suffer from depression or anxiety and no matter how much try to deal with these experiences they don’t improve? Do you try talking to your spouse and no matter how hard you try it doesn’t seem to help your relationship, and often makes matters worse? Are you continually frustrated by the disturbing actions of those around you and feel a constant stress in your life?
This two-part article examines one of the fundamental reasons why we not only suffer, but continue to suffer without resolution. This first part of the article examines how this happens and why it is so fundamentally difficult to deal with.